The Choice
Nov 26, 2023I used to retreat to a place of one
From where it wouldn’t matter so much what happened out there
I would be protected against rejection
I would feel home with this deep inner connectedness
Even though the world out there had separation, conflict, walls
I had access to a world without walls
A world in which I could travel by going inwards
could experience it all from the inside
I could experience you all
From the inside
No need for talking
No need for dialogue
No need for …you
I used to hide my needs deep inside
a cosmic castle
In the dark starry night
Floating a midst everything
While legs on earth felt unreal
I would feel myself different
Not of this world
If you reach far enough inwards
Far enough away into denial of bodily existence
A preferanse of beyond
If you float to other galaxies and star systems
What you find is
At some point
the end
Even here
Ends do exist
In the midst of endlessness
And when the cosmic castle
With my needs inside
Evaporated and disappeared
Over the edgeless edge
I knew
you are a universe of yourself
You too
And you
And the love that I didn’t share
Still had to bloom
A rose would rise so tall so tall into the vast night
In all directions towards past and future
It would rain down as tears from within the hearts of everyone that learns to grow through love
When we meet on a dusty road
Somewhere
When past and future collide
I promise
This time I will not retreat
to reach for you through
the invisible realms of oneness
No
Who am I to say I do not belong?
Standing here receiving this air into my lungs?
How could my bodily existence be anything else than part of it all?
Instead of retreating
I will look straight at you across the abyss between our universes
I will breathe to my belly and
reach out my hand
There will still be blue sky above us
Birds flying
Trees
Winds
Flies
And if you reach out your hand to
And our fingertips touch
It could be the end of one circle and the beginning of a new
One where we lean in
Deepen
Listen to our longings
Let ourselves fall
Closer
To our shared ground
Cause not even universes exist by themselves alone
do they?
